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Covid 19 Poems of Confusion, Surrender, Darkness and Light

Covid 19 Poems of Confusion, Surrender, Darkness and Light

One might say that these four poems deal with the pandemic: three poems were created during the pandemic, and a forth was written about a year before the start of Covid 19. However, these poems might also be relevant regarding internal and external strife that often tends to be part of life and living.

Close to the beginning of the pandemic, I made a few phone calls one day to see how some family members were doing. During my conversations with them, I heard them express many of the feelings and thoughts that I was having at the time. I took some of what they said, and some of what I thought and felt, and wrote the following poem:

From Confusion to Surrender

I am but feeling quite alone

wishing deep in my heart to come back home.

What does one do when one feels this despair

in these circumstances that surround him, but can’t compare?

I know there is a light embedded in this shell

I know there is hope that surfaces, but at times it’s hard to tell.

But I now feel those things that can diminish the light

for I can’t even see the unknown, as I look up at the stars on this disturbing night.

And in the gloom, in the turmoil that exists

I fight that which they tell me I should not resist.

It is with an intent that does not seem to die

as I keep asking that question, “Why?”

I choose to be, I chose this course

but it is confusion that I feel the most.

For I have this need to see, to hear, to understand

these perplexing circumstances here at hand.

But who am I, and who are you?

just souls intent on seeing this through.

And hoping for a chance to see that day

when all is calm, and that which is, is gone away.

From Confusion to Surrender

Covid 19 often brought out that which is good in humanity, but sadly also that which isn’t. I saw compassion, empathy and love, but at the same time saw selfish characteristics that surfaced which might have pointed to an inability to understand more than an inability to care.

The Dark Side of Humanity

Lost in a desperate mind world

Seeking a sense of community

and a need to belong

through an innate desire to be whole again.

But confused…

The path nebulous.

And through indoctrination

either directly or unintentionally

or perhaps inadvertently

harboring a vision that individuality is the answer

through a desire to see and “find oneself”

but left with only a false mirrored reflection

of who one really is.

And one says, “It is my right!”

hoping that it becomes “their destiny”

but really is only “deluded identity”.

And this desire

gives life to the belief

that one will find and understand oneself

by way of separating from that “other”.

The result…

illness within

then spreading to community

for the connectivity link now broken.

And without humility…

there is little compassion.

And without compassion…

there is a lack of understanding.

And without understanding…

one becomes lost

in ones own separate ways…

severed from the natural world of community…

exhibiting the dark side of humanity.

The Dark Side of Humanity

Life is beautiful, but living often has it challenges. The following poem deals with life’s dark experiences.

Existing In a World of Sorrow

There was confusion

and devastation

followed by a feeling of extreme desperation

as I longed for rejuvenation

so as to go back into the world that I once knew

a world where equanimity

was so true.

But this I was helpless to achieve

just as I was not able to foresee

all that was in store for me

and as I tried to understand

through a persistent desire

to make mind sense of the circumstance

I was devoured

by an emotional fire.

And more confusion

because of all that consumed me

and the feelings that entombed me.

And I eventually started to see my limitations

while hoping for reconciliation

from those feelings I could not control

By way of logic that I knew the mind could hold.

Though benumbed

I desperately attempted to explain the mind’s realizations

to the heart

but logic had been torn away

from my being’s state

for I was now lost in a life of hardship

in a nightmarish dream

and I was left with my heart’s

subliminal scream.

And I asked…

Where can I find tranquility

from this calamity

that is in the here and now?

And then I finally realized

what I had been offered

and what was now proposed.

I had to let it be.

How could I hold on

when it was so painful for me?

So I surrendered

to the morning seed

which had inseminated my world

and I succumbed to an existence

that seemed surreal

but the course needed

so as to heal.

The above poem was written before Covid. Hauntingly, I see within it a prediction of what was to come.

Existing in a World of Sorrow

And the final poem in this series is one of hope…

The Light

I saw the clouds creep in and obscure the light

As the evening appeared, and introduced a stormy night

And I longed for the morning, and a sky without fright.

I looked to the heavens, scared, and ready to morn

searching for that which would calm my internal storm

and eliminate the pestilence that had made its appearance

and was suddenly born.

So I laid down my body to find sleep and rest

from the turmoil and confusion, deep within my chest.

And in the morning I awoke, and the clouds had disappeared.

The storm was gone

and the sun’s shinning light had eliminated my fear.

The Light

Covid 19 Poems of Confusion, Surrender, Darkness and Light

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