Covid 19 Poems of Confusion, Surrender, Darkness and Light
One might say that these four poems deal with the pandemic: three poems were created during the pandemic, and a forth was written about a year before the start of Covid 19. However, these poems might also be relevant regarding internal and external strife that often tends to be part of life and living.
Close to the beginning of the pandemic, I made a few phone calls one day to see how some family members were doing. During my conversations with them, I heard them express many of the feelings and thoughts that I was having at the time. I took some of what they said, and some of what I thought and felt, and wrote the following poem:
From Confusion to Surrender
I am but feeling quite alone
wishing deep in my heart to come back home.
What does one do when one feels this despair
in these circumstances that surround him, but can’t compare?
I know there is a light embedded in this shell
I know there is hope that surfaces, but at times it’s hard to tell.
But I now feel those things that can diminish the light
for I can’t even see the unknown, as I look up at the stars on this disturbing night.
And in the gloom, in the turmoil that exists
I fight that which they tell me I should not resist.
It is with an intent that does not seem to die
as I keep asking that question, “Why?”
I choose to be, I chose this course
but it is confusion that I feel the most.
For I have this need to see, to hear, to understand
these perplexing circumstances here at hand.
But who am I, and who are you?
just souls intent on seeing this through.
And hoping for a chance to see that day
when all is calm, and that which is, is gone away.
Covid 19 often brought out that which is good in humanity, but sadly also that which isn’t. I saw compassion, empathy and love, but at the same time saw selfish characteristics that surfaced which might have pointed to an inability to understand more than an inability to care.
The Dark Side of Humanity
Lost in a desperate mind world
Seeking a sense of community
and a need to belong
through an innate desire to be whole again.
But confused…
The path nebulous.
And through indoctrination
either directly or unintentionally
or perhaps inadvertently
harboring a vision that individuality is the answer
through a desire to see and “find oneself”
but left with only a false mirrored reflection
of who one really is.
And one says, “It is my right!”
hoping that it becomes “their destiny”
but really is only “deluded identity”.
And this desire
gives life to the belief
that one will find and understand oneself
by way of separating from that “other”.
The result…
illness within
then spreading to community
for the connectivity link now broken.
And without humility…
there is little compassion.
And without compassion…
there is a lack of understanding.
And without understanding…
one becomes lost
in ones own separate ways…
severed from the natural world of community…
exhibiting the dark side of humanity.
Life is beautiful, but living often has it challenges. The following poem deals with life’s dark experiences.
Existing In a World of Sorrow
There was confusion
and devastation
followed by a feeling of extreme desperation
as I longed for rejuvenation
so as to go back into the world that I once knew
a world where equanimity
was so true.
But this I was helpless to achieve
just as I was not able to foresee
all that was in store for me
and as I tried to understand
through a persistent desire
to make mind sense of the circumstance
I was devoured
by an emotional fire.
And more confusion
because of all that consumed me
and the feelings that entombed me.
And I eventually started to see my limitations
while hoping for reconciliation
from those feelings I could not control
By way of logic that I knew the mind could hold.
Though benumbed
I desperately attempted to explain the mind’s realizations
to the heart
but logic had been torn away
from my being’s state
for I was now lost in a life of hardship
in a nightmarish dream
and I was left with my heart’s
subliminal scream.
And I asked…
Where can I find tranquility
from this calamity
that is in the here and now?
And then I finally realized
what I had been offered
and what was now proposed.
I had to let it be.
How could I hold on
when it was so painful for me?
So I surrendered
to the morning seed
which had inseminated my world
and I succumbed to an existence
that seemed surreal
but the course needed
so as to heal.
The above poem was written before Covid. Hauntingly, I see within it a prediction of what was to come.
And the final poem in this series is one of hope…
The Light
I saw the clouds creep in and obscure the light
As the evening appeared, and introduced a stormy night
And I longed for the morning, and a sky without fright.
I looked to the heavens, scared, and ready to morn
searching for that which would calm my internal storm
and eliminate the pestilence that had made its appearance
and was suddenly born.
So I laid down my body to find sleep and rest
from the turmoil and confusion, deep within my chest.
And in the morning I awoke, and the clouds had disappeared.
The storm was gone
and the sun’s shinning light had eliminated my fear.
Covid 19 Poems of Confusion, Surrender, Darkness and Light
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